Stubborn

Human beings are stubborn little creatures. Some days, I marvel at the patience God must have as He watches us live our lives and mess up along the way. I think that for many people the most dangerous thing we engage in is simply looking at the mistakes we make and doing nothing better than crying over them.

There's no denying that it's stupidly hard some days to pick up and learn, especially when you feel like you've royally screwed up in a little thing that has the potential to affect the rest of your life. In my case, all my hopes for graduate school are hanging in the balance right now because I've made poor choices about how I use my money and time. I'll be frank: I'm terrified for what happens to me after graduation now. What if I've messed up some major part of God's plan for me by being thoughtless?

See how easy it is to be paralyzed by our past? Especially if you happen to have the cross of a melancholic temperament, that sees the "deep" in just about everything, it's unfortunately effortless to dwell on what happened before and compare it to what ought to have happened.

But that isn't in my control anymore. I can't let myself be stopped by what might have been or what might be. All I have is right now, the choices that I make in this instant. God grant me the grace to remember it--and that sometimes losing one opportunity brings us another, better one.