Sometimes you just need to let go . . .

Sometimes you just need to let go, but I keep hanging on. To the grad school dream, that is. I have all but decided that the best thing in the world for me is to wait a year or so until I really know what I want to go to grad school for. Right now, I am full of enthusiasm and idealism but have very little academic direction. I'm currently tied up in three different disciplines and am not ready to commit to any one of them for the rest of my academic career.

Right now, if I had my way, I would just keep learning and studying, in the classroom and out, until I die. Not formally, per se, though I do want that elusive Ph.D. most days so that I might teach others.

I'm not interested in education for education's sake, however. I really want to learn as much about the world around me so that I can thank my Creator for it. I feel like the more I learn, the more in awe I am, and the more I just step back and say, "Thank you, Lord, for making this beautiful world and letting me inhabit it if even for a short while." The more I see reflections of the God who made this reality, the more I long to be united to Him. Sounds corny, yes, but it's true. That's the real reason I'm so drawn to learning.