Chesterton
I have a very real fondness for G.K. Chesterton. That man has a knack for gathering up an immense pile of truths and distilling them into one sentence. I have started re-reading Orthodoxy and relishing the tiny gems that show up in every paragraph--often more than once!
He was writing of reason, and how it is over-reasoning that leads to madness; it is too much belief in one's self that lands him in Hanwell. But my favorite quote of the night has to be this: "If the madman for an instant could become careless, he would become sane." If for an instant, he could stop being the center of the world, with all his paranoias and rationalizations, he could free himself to just be a human being. That quote made me stop and reflect on my life. Back in high school, I had worries and paranoias and fears, but quite honestly, they were far more poetic than the ones I have now! How amusing I found that!
If for an instant, I can decide that it really doesn't matter if I screw up the presentation or practice enough or play perfectly or find the right words for a phrase, suddenly it frees me to find all these things precisely because it doesn't matter if I find them or not. An incredible paradox, but one of the greatest truisms I have seen in my time.
Going to graduate school for Gregorian chant performance is a wild and weird thing to do. "What kind of job can you get with it?" queried A. Don't know--don't care. I can be careless, cautionless for this instant--and perhaps make one of the best decisions of my life. Because I am not responsible for whether or not it works out; that is in God's hands, not mine. For this instant, I can stop being the center of the universe. Not every decision I make effects the fate of the world--I can be careless for an instant, and free myself to do the best I can, because whether or not I succeed ultimately doesn't matter!! There is no pressure! But I can tell you something--I know for a fact that when I can be careless about something, I do it better.
He was writing of reason, and how it is over-reasoning that leads to madness; it is too much belief in one's self that lands him in Hanwell. But my favorite quote of the night has to be this: "If the madman for an instant could become careless, he would become sane." If for an instant, he could stop being the center of the world, with all his paranoias and rationalizations, he could free himself to just be a human being. That quote made me stop and reflect on my life. Back in high school, I had worries and paranoias and fears, but quite honestly, they were far more poetic than the ones I have now! How amusing I found that!
If for an instant, I can decide that it really doesn't matter if I screw up the presentation or practice enough or play perfectly or find the right words for a phrase, suddenly it frees me to find all these things precisely because it doesn't matter if I find them or not. An incredible paradox, but one of the greatest truisms I have seen in my time.
Going to graduate school for Gregorian chant performance is a wild and weird thing to do. "What kind of job can you get with it?" queried A. Don't know--don't care. I can be careless, cautionless for this instant--and perhaps make one of the best decisions of my life. Because I am not responsible for whether or not it works out; that is in God's hands, not mine. For this instant, I can stop being the center of the universe. Not every decision I make effects the fate of the world--I can be careless for an instant, and free myself to do the best I can, because whether or not I succeed ultimately doesn't matter!! There is no pressure! But I can tell you something--I know for a fact that when I can be careless about something, I do it better.
posted by Anna Clare at 6:28 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home