Starin' down the Stars
Starin' down the stars,
Jealous of the moon,
You wish you could fly.
But you're stayin' where you are,
'Cause there's nothin' you can do,
When you're too scared to try.
I got to the point of utterly overwhelmed this evening, and stretched out on my porch to just stare at the stars for a while. Between jobs and cars and goals and dreams and life and love and all such things, my life is hardly what I thought it would be six months after graduating from college.
I have been carless for three weeks now. That MUST change tomorrow, as my family's gracious loan of their spare car ends Monday. Fortunately, I have been shopping around, and tomorrow is merely the finalizing of a purchase. I can't get the car I really want/need (a cute, boring little sedan) and have to get a little sporty number instead because (ironically) it's the only thing I can get financed.
I'm mostly unemployed currently. I do not regret quitting the newspaper, but my income is now half what it was because I'm just teaching--enough to get by, but not enough to improve my circumstances. (And not enough to get my flute repaired, which it desperately needs right now.)
My professors never told me it would be this hard. My family must have at some point, but I didn't retain it. I feel like every time I begin to make a little progress in my life, something comes along and pulls the rug out from under me.
But then tonight I looked at the stars. Really looked at them for the first time in a long time. And I thought that if God could not only create the stars but keep them in their place in the sky, then He could clearly take care of me and my sometimes messy existence.
It also made me think that if He took the trouble to adorn the sky in such fashion, then He must have some pity for a flutist and a writer who just wants to give a little fleeting beauty to the world...
Jealous of the moon,
You wish you could fly.
But you're stayin' where you are,
'Cause there's nothin' you can do,
When you're too scared to try.
I got to the point of utterly overwhelmed this evening, and stretched out on my porch to just stare at the stars for a while. Between jobs and cars and goals and dreams and life and love and all such things, my life is hardly what I thought it would be six months after graduating from college.
I have been carless for three weeks now. That MUST change tomorrow, as my family's gracious loan of their spare car ends Monday. Fortunately, I have been shopping around, and tomorrow is merely the finalizing of a purchase. I can't get the car I really want/need (a cute, boring little sedan) and have to get a little sporty number instead because (ironically) it's the only thing I can get financed.
I'm mostly unemployed currently. I do not regret quitting the newspaper, but my income is now half what it was because I'm just teaching--enough to get by, but not enough to improve my circumstances. (And not enough to get my flute repaired, which it desperately needs right now.)
My professors never told me it would be this hard. My family must have at some point, but I didn't retain it. I feel like every time I begin to make a little progress in my life, something comes along and pulls the rug out from under me.
But then tonight I looked at the stars. Really looked at them for the first time in a long time. And I thought that if God could not only create the stars but keep them in their place in the sky, then He could clearly take care of me and my sometimes messy existence.
It also made me think that if He took the trouble to adorn the sky in such fashion, then He must have some pity for a flutist and a writer who just wants to give a little fleeting beauty to the world...
posted by Anna Clare at 10:18 PM
1 Comments:
Well put.
There's a great verse in Isaiah 40 about the stars: "Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name..." (verse 26).
Not only did he create 'em, he gave them names. That line always strikes me. Heck, that whole chapter is encouraging; I've turned to it many times when in doubt.
PS: Your IM about the "familial aspect" of Thanksgiving was pretty awesome.
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