Tuesday, January 08, 2008

In condemnation of bad shipping

Dear FedEx, and specifically the two employees I encountered last night,

The last time I checked, your job was to ship things. Why, oh why, was I greeted by a cashier/packing clerk last night who told me that she was too busy to pack and ship my flute? Why was I told, "I can't do that." You can't do that? "We're closing in like 45 minutes, and I still have other stuff to pack. I don't have time to ship your flute." I was greatly confused. Don't you pack things as they are dropped off? Perhaps I am mistaken. But you telling me you don't have time to do your job and take my money does not amuse me.

In her defense, this employee did recommend that I seek out another nearby FedEx and see if they might have time to pack and ship my flute for me. And so I trotted back up the street and went to another place.

"Can you pack and ship my flute?" I inquired.

"But of course," the new employee cheerfully responded. Hurrah! You can take my precious baby and wrap her in bubble wrap and paper and popcorn, and send her to her place of repair! Glorious. "Let me find a box," she smiles. She returns with something far too large, but I hazard a guess that that just means she'll wrap it well. Lovely! My new favorite FedEx employee then proceeds to test out the box size by dropping my flute into the box. And I do mean dropping. As in, it made a *thunk* sound as she let go of it from several inches off the counter.

I was too terrified by what I just saw to even react and say, "Excuse me, please do not drop part of my livelihood so carelessly into the box." I could have let one time go, but no, she had to do it again with a different box. Again, a sad *thunk* sound as my case dropped to the bottom of a box, this time one too small for it. By this time, I am nearly in tears. My no-longer-favorite FedEx employee finally gets the bright idea that she should measure my case and then find a box based on that. How clever!

My heart eased some as I watched her carefully wrap bubble wrap and paper and popcorn around my already-too-abused baby. Okay, everything is going to be fine.

"Can I get insurance on this?" I query.

"Of course you can! How much would you like to insure it for?"

"$xxxx, its replacement value."

FedEx lady's eyes got very wide, as she solemnly explained to me that she could not insure it for anymore than $500, in an effort to combat fraudulent item claims.

At this point, dear FedEx, I am about ready to snap. Not only do you tell me you are too busy to ship, not only do you abuse my instrument, but you tell me that you cannot insure it for its value. "I understand," nearly choking back tears. By now I am starting to get angry instead of just sad. "Then don't put any insurance on it, because $500 won't even come close to replacing it if something does go wrong."

"But I have to put something down, so I'll just put $500." I sigh and acquiesce. "That'll be $40," employee says solemnly.

I am paying you $40 to ship something that you can't insure for replacement value?? Why? "Okay."

Dear FedEx, I am never, ever, ever, ever, ever shipping anything with you. EVER.

Sincerely,
An irate flutist who's just crossing her fingers her flute makes it to the repair man in one piece.

4 Comments:

Blogger Anatole Upart said...

You see, in a truly monarchical society the FedEx serf will be horrified of the imminent 20 lashes if something were to happen with a royal flutist's flute, and the packing will be properly done in minutes! Good old days....(sigh)

January 25, 2008 12:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

UPS
One of the best run companies in America -- and union!

February 19, 2008 11:45 PM  
Blogger Anna Clare said...

Anchorite: :)

Anon: The flute was shipped back to me via UPS, and it was only $20 as opposed to $40, and much better packed!

February 20, 2008 9:28 AM  
Blogger - A - C - said...

I share your unfortunate fate, where in my case it was my old violin the one who suffered. He never recovered. R.I.P.

April 03, 2008 8:01 AM  

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