"Sometimes the Unexplained Can Define You"
The title is a random lyric from one of my favorite bands, Nickel Creek. It feels very applicable this morning.
Eastern's football team lost something fierce last night: 78 - 7. Poor guys. Not that I actually paid attention to the game. I just happened to notice that scoreboard kept changing on the side that said "Visitor." Never a good way to start the season. The band, however, was fantastic. They ended up performing their show twice: once pre-game (as is the custom when you're the home team) and once at half-time (because Columbia's band isn't ready to present their program). Oh, yes, we could have been cruel and laughed at them and said, "No half-time entertainment for you!" but our program experienced the same kind of difficulties two years ago. We would never do that to someone else. Anyway, I think the point of that was that our kids played twice--and that the second time was better than the first. Our football team may be awful, but our band is rockin'. Just don't tell them I said that, or it might go to their heads. Heh.
I suffered through woodwind trio rehearsal this morning for two hours. We have a concert coming up on the 30th of this month (for the announcement, see The Edward Website), and things aren't quite gelling the way we would like them to. Which resulted in me listening to (and making, though after a short bit I gave up) many apologies, as well as many rounds of cursing the piece, the composer or the instrument that seemed to be most offensive at the time.
I couldn't wait to get out of there. I thought, are all musicians always this whiny?
Then I realized that there was something wrong with that thought--I was regarding musicians as something separate from who I was. I've effectively stopped thinking about myself as a musician and started thinking of myself as a writer. Musicians are "those people over there," not me.
I have finally made up my mind to pursue a Rhetoric and Composition program once I graduate this spring. I don't know what I will do musically. Right now, I don't really care. I keep playing or singing or some such thing in some kind of environment, but as of right now, I don't want to go back to musical academia. At some point, I probably will want to. But not now.
It's frustrating in a way, though, because I always "wanted" to be a professional musician. But sometimes you just feel that no matter how hard you're trying, you're going to keep beating your head into the wall because it's just not what you're meant to do. And you feel it, and think that maybe if you try just a little bit harder, you'll belong in that field, or with that person, or whatever. Sometimes, you just have to accept that there's another, better, niche waiting for you out there; all you have to do is find it. I think I have found mine in writing.
Eastern's football team lost something fierce last night: 78 - 7. Poor guys. Not that I actually paid attention to the game. I just happened to notice that scoreboard kept changing on the side that said "Visitor." Never a good way to start the season. The band, however, was fantastic. They ended up performing their show twice: once pre-game (as is the custom when you're the home team) and once at half-time (because Columbia's band isn't ready to present their program). Oh, yes, we could have been cruel and laughed at them and said, "No half-time entertainment for you!" but our program experienced the same kind of difficulties two years ago. We would never do that to someone else. Anyway, I think the point of that was that our kids played twice--and that the second time was better than the first. Our football team may be awful, but our band is rockin'. Just don't tell them I said that, or it might go to their heads. Heh.
I suffered through woodwind trio rehearsal this morning for two hours. We have a concert coming up on the 30th of this month (for the announcement, see The Edward Website), and things aren't quite gelling the way we would like them to. Which resulted in me listening to (and making, though after a short bit I gave up) many apologies, as well as many rounds of cursing the piece, the composer or the instrument that seemed to be most offensive at the time.
I couldn't wait to get out of there. I thought, are all musicians always this whiny?
Then I realized that there was something wrong with that thought--I was regarding musicians as something separate from who I was. I've effectively stopped thinking about myself as a musician and started thinking of myself as a writer. Musicians are "those people over there," not me.
I have finally made up my mind to pursue a Rhetoric and Composition program once I graduate this spring. I don't know what I will do musically. Right now, I don't really care. I keep playing or singing or some such thing in some kind of environment, but as of right now, I don't want to go back to musical academia. At some point, I probably will want to. But not now.
It's frustrating in a way, though, because I always "wanted" to be a professional musician. But sometimes you just feel that no matter how hard you're trying, you're going to keep beating your head into the wall because it's just not what you're meant to do. And you feel it, and think that maybe if you try just a little bit harder, you'll belong in that field, or with that person, or whatever. Sometimes, you just have to accept that there's another, better, niche waiting for you out there; all you have to do is find it. I think I have found mine in writing.
posted by Anna Clare at 3:33 PM
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